From a novella in progress...

Sayontoni woke up earlier than usual; the morning suddenly seemed oppressive, sweat on her neck and arms settled on the linen. She shook of the sheet that had covered her at night, but that wasn’t enough; she extended her hand to the ledge and unfastened the window. It recoiled slowly allowing the freshness of the morning to float in. The breeze entered, dispelling the staleness of the night. The freshness of the morning, the glow of the sun still low in the sky, the ample shadow of the bamboo groove across the garden fused with the smell of the earth fresh with rain. It was the twenty-seventh and Ashim must have arrived a few hours earlier. A glow seemed to spread from her face into the air around her. She caught the smile on her face and felt silly about it. Her stretched limbs cocooned in the softness of her bed linen, her toes touched the wrought iron bedpost and immediately she felt tingled by its coolness. She liked the coolness against the warmth of her skin; gingerly she placed the flat of her foot on the wrought iron. The chill on her skin, amidst the dispersing warmth of the room, made her think of Ashim, the last time he was here and the first time she had made love.

The anticipation of their meeting a few hours from now, made her queasy, filling her with a sense of excitement. Excitement - not because he was here now, but because he would stay for a while. She closed her eyes.

The lakes looked pretty when the rains first came, the dust and grime of the city washed in the wake of the first drops of rains. He had touched her on the shoulder and she had turned to see his face ablaze. The warmth of his breath filled the taxi like a cloud. She turned into his arms feeling warm, scared and fitful. The windows - patterns of rivulets formed by the falling rain, clear streaks on an obscure slate. He had clutched her, close to him.

She opened her eyes, feeling that restlessness again, not for what was to transpire, but for what had. She buried her face in the uneven softness of the pillow, and closed her eyes again; she didn’t see the rain pelting down on the lakes anymore. The moment from a few months ago had dissolved into now. And now, with her shuteyes the mind saw flashes, images running in a cinemascope gone awry. The denim of his trousers, the feeling of trepidation and felicity when she had held him with her half cupped hands and how he had gone weak with his head falling back on to the Rexene headrest. The rear view mirror, her navy blue t-shirt clumped like a crutch under her arms, Ashim’s head on her shoulder and under her chin. The gaze of her eyes in the mirror, at once both the object and the image, linked by time, space and action, but incongruous in every way else. Her eyes suddenly opened, feeling the exhilaration of a fair ride and the despondency of a long journey. Her temples ached, she took a deep breath to calm herself, but her mind was in turmoil, a canvas of random images.

Labels: Fiction

Time to hesitate is through,
No time to wallow in the mire.
Try now we can only lose
And our love becomes a funeral pyre.



I took this snap in a dark hotel room, on a Saturday night. A burning match stick marking time in an ashtray.

One of those evenings when I was giving sermons to my head...

Labels: Music

Romeo and Juliet...

A love struck Romeo sings the streets a serenade,
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made.
Finds a streetlight, steps out of the shade,
Says something like, “you and me babe how about it?”

Juliet says, hey it's Romeo; you nearly gave me a heart attack.
He's underneath the window, she's singing hey la my boyfriend's back.
You shouldn't come around here singing up at people like that
Anyway what you gonna do about it?

Juliet the dice was loaded from the start,
And I bet that you exploded into my heart.
And I forget I forget the movie song,
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong Juliet?

Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame.
Both dirty both mean, yes and the dream was just the same.
And I dreamed your dream for you and now your dream is real
How can you look at me as if I was just another one of your deals?

When you can fall for chains of silver.
You can fall for chains of gold.
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold.
You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin yeah
Now you just say oh Romeo yeah you know I used to have a scene with him.

Juliet when we made love you used to cry,
You said I love you like the stars, above I'll love you till I die.
There's a place for us, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong… Juliet?

I can't do the talk, like the talk on the TV,
And I can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be.
I can't do everything but I'd do anything for you
I can't do anything, except be in love with you.

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be.
All I do is keep the beat and bad company.
Now all I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme,
Juliet I'd do the stars with you… any time

Juliet when we made love you used to cry,
You said I love you like the stars, above I'll love you till I die.
There's a place for us, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong… Juliet?

A love struck Romeo sings the streets a serenade,
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made.
Finds a streetlight steps out of the shade
Says something like, “you and me babe how about it?”

Labels: Music