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the 'Fist' & the 'Pacifist'
Though my soul may set in darkness, it shall rise in perfect light,
I have loved the stars too fondly, to be fearful of the night.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Of Sudden Memories, in sudden places...

A Friday evening in February and it rained. This was the first, no second time, she cuddled up beside me. Yeah I remember these things, the walks by the river and what she had worn each of those times. See, maybe that's where I screw things up - I remember the details but don't see the bigger picture. Capture the moment and become oblivious of the landscape.

Driving was difficult, my air-conditioner wasn't working too well and the windscreen was getting all frosted. Our friends had been dropped off. She had planned it nicely, so that it wouldn't seem obvious...that we were fishing for our space.

The road was closed. The first time we kissed, it had been raining. The air was cool and a chill was stealthily crawling over the night. She was leaving later that evening. It was Ironic.

I though, was stuck in an abstruse memory. The memory of a night in Berlin, of walking the streets and taking photographs of cars at intersections. Setting the exposure just right, so that the camera captures the trail of head lamps. Red and yellow hued ribbons streaking the night. Gazing at the shiny new buildings on Alexander Platz, sitting on cold stone steps and watching a midnight theatre. Catching every third dialogue and laughing way after the punch line.

That night, strangely makes me feel peaceful and powerful. The re-affirmation of being a tiny spec in this forever universe. The prudence to ignore the irate boss. The patience of enduring a never ending traffic snarl on your way home.

When I was with her I felt all that. Now I am driving home, the cacophony of horns, the haze of falling rain. Looking at the blurbs of headlamps and the memories of when red and yellow hued ribbons streaked the night.

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