the 'Fist' & the 'Pacifist'

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Not the Bong you use to smoke up ...

It's 11:30 at night, and surprisingly I am Sleepless in Somerset.

I read Anusha's Blog today, which is pretty neat by the way. It made me realize something significant, for all my Bong/Calcutta chauvinism, I have never written a post about either!

Well, here goes a list. Some truths I would like to reiterate and some myths I would like to destroy.

1. I think South Calcutta people (especially the guys) are far neater than the one's from the north.

2. The bong obsession about soccer is way over the top. A whole generation of bong men sits up the whole night under their mosquito nets, to watch obscure matches between Fulham and Norwich City! We bongs suck at soccer now. Its almost over compensation, like why some guys buy big Hummers... you know what I mean.

3. While bong women can be awesomely beautiful in their own way. But the misplaced notion the most of them have, that being 'naaka', would somehow make them more alluring to the average bong guy… simply put, is disgusting. By the way, the closest legit English translation of 'naaka' is mawkish.

4. Why does every Bong have to be a 'dada' or a 'didi'? Why cant we just be colleagues, buddies, work mates...whatever! Even strangers!

5. Bangla bands suck! The guitar riffs are take offs. The lyrics are decadent in the guise of being progressive. And what the jack are 'jeebon mukhi' songs? Every song in world is about some aspect of life or other. So how in the good lords name are 'jeebon mukhi gaan', even a wee bit path breaking?

6. The whole hullabaloo about Durga Pujo, simply put... is this... for most bongs it's a one-week window to fix your social/love/sex life. The friendly neighborhood pujor pandal, is nothing but an exotic singles bar.

7. The bong fixation, with fish in particular and food in general! God! Either its lunch, dinner, the fish market, some recipe. Very uncharitably I must add, this whole sub conscious obsession about food, must trace back to the Bengal famine or something!

In conclusion, there are tonnes of things about us bongs that I just can't stand. But having said that, there are tonnes of stuff, I just adore!

In spite of my love hate thing with fellow bongs. I am awfully clan proud!

Labels: World and us

6 Comments:

Progga said... On Thursday, May 19, 2005 5:16:00 pm

Mr. Bong,
I like your take on the pujor pandal. And I think that surveys would show that Bongs spend a far larger percentage of their income on food than other communities. But think, without that, would Cal be the smorgasbord of phuchka and chicken a la kiev and momos and chop cutlet and mangshor shingara and kochuri and alurdom and... (sslllrrrrrp!) that it is?!
And where's mention of epic battles between East Bengal and Mohun Bagan?!
Ms. Bong

Dreamcatcher said... On Friday, May 20, 2005 11:46:00 am

I think one of the worst things that Bengalis do is to talk rapidly away in their own tongue even when other non understanding people are around.
All said and done i would only admit to a kolkatan what i detest about the city , to other people it is THE place and the people are the best on earth..You're right - Kolkatans and Bongs are severely clannish.

Rohan said... On Friday, May 20, 2005 1:39:00 pm

Ms.Bong,
Yeah... Calcutta has its own cusine, its own personal take on the various foods of the world. Its almost an expression of all embracing individuality, its contradictory in its very essence, but very true.

Btw, nice hearing from you again.
Cheers!
Mr.Bong

Dreamcatcher,

Yeah, we fellow kolkatan's can banter how much we like...but we gush over the city, when talking to others!

But having said that, the thing they say about Kolkata, does hold true..."A nyone coming to Calcutta, cries twice. Once when he arrives...and once...when he has to leave".

RS said... On Saturday, May 21, 2005 3:02:00 pm

Ok. Various things. Have taken deep offence to Duggo Pujo being one-week window to fun, food, and f*cking. I deeply hope it means more to most people. Rohan, I thought New Alipore Traingular Park-er pujo would have deeper echoes in your heart than this!

Also, just because Mohunbagan or East Bengal aren't exactly Dempo and Juventus, don't deny Bengalis their love for the sport! That's a tad unfair.

And Ishani (Dreamcatcher), I think it's perfectly justified if Bengalis chatter away in their mother tongue in presence of people from other communities. I have been in enough parts of India to know that this applies not only to Bengalis. Punjabis will yap in Punjabi, and Malayalis will dish out Malayalam. It's not a trait that's peculiar to only Bengal.

Rapid I Movement said... On Friday, September 29, 2006 11:21:00 pm

Some comments:
1) Er, I agree, South Cal is neater of sorts than the North, but that wouldn't necessarily roll on to the people, would it?...may be you just met the wrong ones :)
2) Bongs, in general are obsessed with anything obsessable. Soccer is merely a special case.
4) THIS I don't understand either. Once you're above a certain age, kaku/kakimas can't be used - it has to be da/di-s. Maaney imagine someone going out with the daughter of his prof (whom he lovingly refers to as Urmila-di or Sreerup-da)...reeks of paedophilism almost.
5) Dude, almost ALL guitar riffs are take offs these days, so why slaughter just these poor bastards only? Rock is dead.
Peace.