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the 'Fist' & the 'Pacifist'
Though my soul may set in darkness, it shall rise in perfect light,
I have loved the stars too fondly, to be fearful of the night.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Their Story...

"Actually doing it is very different". Smoke twirled in an upward spiral.

"I was young... I had thought about it, I had known men and all of that. But this was the first time... that romance and flirting had a physical meaning. I was in a room with a man - he was around me. It's a new experience - you are feeling things for the first time".

I listened. Their coming of age story, perhaps?
I knew them both, but now I listened as if I had tuned into the radio. Attentive but not involved.

I looked down from the window, cars glided through the rain, following orderly geometric paths. A two way street - friends going partying, a doctor rushing to a patient.

Everything seemed to be part of a Perpetual Motion machine. The cars barely stopped for more than a few seconds, even when they paused - the passengers - Closed arguments, arrived at conclusions, shared secrets, confessed to the truth or kept their silence.

I turned around. She had stubbed out the cigarette.

"I felt this with him for the first time. He must have felt it with someone else... for the first time. That someone else, with yet another...maybe it was you?" She looked straight at me, almost expecting an answer.

Life is always changing - like a kaleidoscope gone awry. Unpredictable and myriad, yet strangely orderly and ordained.

I thought of the two ancient men on the battlefield. One a reluctant warrior and the other an all knowing charioteer. To me - both teachers.

"Prepare for war... in peace.
Be at peace in pleasure and pain, in gain and in loss.
Be at peace in defeat and victory".

I walked towards the couch where she was sitting, and reached for the pack of smokes. I smiled "No... it wasn't me".

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